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just-shower-thoughts:

I tell my dog “I love you” far more often than I tell my family members, despite the fact that she can’t even understand me

Notes
2818
Posted
4 hours ago

avatarthelastzed:

by-another-name:

abbiehollowdays:

(Tweet from @nycsouthpaw) Kris Kobach should learn to use folders and cover sheets.

[image] Department of Homeland Security Kobach Strategic Plan for first 365 Days.

——————

Can someone caption this when you get a chance? I’m on mobile.

[Transcript for those who are having trouble reading]

1. Bar the Entry of Potential Terrorists
-I. Update and reintroduce the NSEERS screening and tracking system (National Security Entry-Exit Registration System) that was in place from 2002-2005. All aliens from high risk areas are tracked. 
-II. Add extreme vetting system for high risk aliens. Question them regarding support for Sharia law, jihad, equality of men and women, the United States Constitution. 
-III. Reduce intake of Syrian refugees to zero using authority under the 1980 Refugee Act.

2. [Unreadable] Record Number of Criminal Aliens in the First Year
-[unreadable] 193,000 criminal removal cases dropped by the Obama Administration.
-[unreadable] ICE guidance memorands(?) adopted by the Obama Administration, issue new guidance [unreadable] “criminal alien” as any alien arrested for any crime, and any gang member. 
-[remainder is mostly unreadable; discusses enlisting local and state goverments to aid in the decrease of “criminal aliens”]

3. [Mostly unreadable, discusses PLANS FOR THE WALL]
-[unreadable] in addition to the 319 miles of existing [unreadable] covering the entire 1,989 miles planned for rapid build. [unreadable] the PATRIOT Act to prevent illegal aliens [unreadable]

[Most of the rest is unreadable]

5. [unreadable]
-[mostly unreadable, the ending sentence contains the phrase “Draft amendments to National Voter…”]

That’s all I could make out. If anyone else wants to add what they can see, feel free to do so.

This is a serious breach of classified information handling. I hope he gets fired for this! Better people have been fired for less (and lost an election)

(via civilwhore)

Notes
104567
Posted
4 hours ago
Me:Hey I lost 2016 could I make an announcement?
2017:Sure
Me, leaning into the microphone:Goodbye you fucking piece of shit
Notes
49519
Posted
4 hours ago
character i love:shows up on screen for the 49th time
me, pointing, for the 49th time:[either softly or loudly] they're here
Notes
59990
Posted
9 hours ago
doctor:sir, i'm sorry. the results are in and i'm afraid you have updog
patient:wh- what's updog
doctor, calling a nurse on the hospital's intercom:KAREN GET IN HERE I TOLD YOU I COULD DO IT
Notes
302631
Posted
9 hours ago
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